The Sky is Full of Silver & Gold.

Lately I've been struggling with a question most people know before they are my age. I thought I knew when I was a kid- a ballerina. That changed into "working in film." Somewhere in my mid-twenties that changed to photography. Music is something that I would choose over any of these things but the older I get, the more tied down with grown-up things I become, the less of a realistic option that is. I have accepted that and while I will always keep it in my heart and my dreams, it's time to move on. Never did I ever think I would be a stay-at-home mother. It's by far the most challenging "job" I've ever had with much less gratitude and appreciation although it's also a fine luxury not afforded to everyone. Jack is now 3.5 and I feel like it's time for me to find something that makes me happy. I've considered studying to become a personal fitness trainer. Does that sound stupid? I'm never going to be a lawyer like my brothers or a doctor or a movie star so I might as well focus on something I have a genuine interest in and build a life outside of being a mommy and a wife. I also love doing nail art and that's something I've considered too. A friend of mine (who owns a salon and is a manicurist) has encouraged me numerous times to pursue a career in the beauty industry but I guess it's hard for me to take compliments and advice- frequently feeling like people are just being nice. I love working in the arts and if I could find a job that would allow me to work with artists or promote arts in Oklahoma, I would do it in a heartbeat. That's another thing- when you're out of the working community for 4 years, I can see where it would be challenging to find a fulfilling job and someone out there to hire you.

Essentially I have been working. I have daily and weekly duties that take a great sense of communication, multi-tasking, and the biggest responsibility I will ever know. Really, it made me grow up a lot.  But, I have a multitude of talents and strengths and I sometimes feel like I'm wasting it all away when I could be using it to change the world. Or at least change a few people's lives.

Or maybe I should just run away with the circus.

I do love our Mommy/Baby/Special Days though. Tomorrow is one of those days. Jack wants to do "craft."

Still dying over Prima Creative. Loving the floral nail art- i haven't tried it yet though. Maybe soon!

Absolutely dying over The New Black The Digital Underground by Christina Rinaldi. (the genius behind Prima.)

 I want all of these sets of polishes so bad! 

above: my favorite nails from this weekend. 

below: my second favorite from this weekend.

(I change them up a lot.)

Took Jack to the Walkmen concert on the lawn of the art museum last night. We went by The Library (the one with food and drinks, not the actual library) and Jack had his first big pretzel. Walked back to watch the band and Jack danced in the lights and then struck some quick poses for me. What a sweetie pie.

Music. I recorded an album at home. It's up on my bandcamp page for free download.

Sunday I'm deleting all the songs but it'll be up until then.

HUDSON ROAR

midnight paradise

♥

jp

Fresh Summer

This summer. It's feels like it's been a long one but then again, it feels like it's gone by so fast. I'm ready for it to be over although I already miss my tan. It was too hot to be outside for a while- 114 degrees- no, thank you! Went to Rhode Island to go to my little brother's wedding- which was absolutely beautiful and at some point I'd like to do a post all about it.

Upon returning, we learned Husband's Grandad had been hospitalized for what we believed to be heat exhaustion or something similar. A couple of days later we got news he had the West Nile Virus. We've all heard about the virus but it seemed like something that would never happen to us or anyone we love. I can't even begin to explain how much this family has changed my life and I'm forever grateful to the man who started it. He passed away on August 23rd. Watching my Husband and my In-Laws go through this absolutely breaks my heart. Jack has been a big comfort during everything, giving hugs and saying sweet things to me, Husband, and my father-in-law. The best father-in-law ever, I might add. There is a lot more I could say about all of this but the most important thing I can say to you is a simple warning. Protect yourself and your family. It's as simple as wearing bug spray that contains DEET. Keep hours outside to a minimum. Get rid of standing water near your house. You think you will never have to experience this horrible virus but I assure you, you don't want to take a chance.

So. These pictures aren't in any particular order. I just grabbed some off of my computer because, well, I figured I haven't seen you all in months and of course you're probably wondering what Jack has been up to and what he's been wearing. Capes were definitely IN for summer. As were "cowboy clothes," complete with a bandana in the back pocket. 

 I got a hair cut. Really I did it because it was looking a little unhealthy from all the ombre bleaching and toning I've been doing for the past year. Much better now. There's still a hint of ombre in there. Also, I'm growing out my bangs in case you were wondering. I know you were.

Tons of new fitness discoveries this summer. I drink Shakeology (made by Beachbody) every day. I haven't touched an energy drink in forever and I rarely get headaches anymore. My skin is much clearer and I just feel a lot better. Husband bought me a Polar ft7. It's a heart rate monitor and I'm obsessed with it. I've been doing an hour on my treadclimber + around 45 minutes of my beloved Tracy Anderson Method for 5-6 days a week. I was sick for a full 2 weeks and didn't work out at all during that time so I've been aiming at burning between 600-800 calories a day and eating somewhat clean. I know I sound like a crazy person but I enjoy working out and I feel better than I ever have in my life. Also, I'm very proud of my best friend, Angela, for all of her hard work- she's completed P90X and Insanity along with Shakeology and Energy & Endurance and she looks SO GOOD. I need a picture so I can show you. 

If you're looking for motivation in the fitness department, I suggest you check out Kenna Shell. She is a beachbody coach and lost over 80 lbs after having her son. 80lbs, you guys! She has a private group on facebook and you can join by contacting her HERE. You'll probably recognize her from Pinterest. I know her because our husbands are cousins and I'm here to tell you, her results are the real deal! If only I were that disciplined. Go look at her pictures and you'll see what I mean. Holy crap.

Lots of new songs and free downloads on my Hudson Roar music page. If you even care.

I can't promise I'm back blogging for good, but hey, at least I'm here right now.

Toodles, it's wine time.

♥ jp